In this article, I share how the sudden loss of a child can feel like a form of ghosting — a brutal interruption of a living relationship, without words, without closure. I explore why this absence of meaning is so deeply painful, and how my need to continue the conversation with my son became a way to heal, to find peace, and to discover a quieter, deeper form of communication.
Have you ever heard of ghosting?
It is most often associated with romantic relationships, when someone suddenly disappears without explanation, leaving the other person in confusion and pain.
Yet the most violent form of ghosting may be the one experienced by parents whose child dies suddenly — through suicide, sudden and unexpected death, accident, or murder.
Here, the relationship does not end.
It is abruptly interrupted, with no warning and no chance to say goodbye .
That is exactly how I felt when my son left.
A living, daily bond suddenly broken.
A conversation cut off forever.
In ghosting, what is most devastating is not only the loss itself, but the total absence of words, meaning, and closure.
The relationship remains suspended.
This often leads to:
- shock
- relentless rumination
- anxiety
- deep damage to self-esteem
- and sometimes depression 💬
That is why it felt vital for me to restore some form of communication with my son, by any means possible.
I simply could not leave that conversation unfinished.
What I expected
At first, I believed that our love was so strong, and his departure so sudden and unreal, that it had to be followed by an equally unreal and extraordinary way of finding peace like
- undeniable signs
- spectacular miracles
- clear and unmistakable communications leaving no room for doubt
I was waiting for something overwhelming, obvious, irrefutable.
That is not how it happened.
Instead, signs appeared quietly, often in unexpected ways:
- improbable feathers
- solutions emerging where none seemed possible
- an inner strength and courage I never thought I possessed
- encounters that would never have happened otherwise
And for a long time, I did not realize that all of this was already part of the continuation of our conversation.
With time, I came to understand that if our children revealed themselves to us in a clear and undeniable way, we might never be called to explore our inner resources so deeply.
We might never question the meaning of life in the same way
We might never truly learn to accept what is
We might never learn to let go of control
And we might never be invited to discover the true meaning of faith and trust —
faith without proof , and trust in the midst of uncertainty 🤍
Transforming love
Perhaps it is precisely this lack of immediate certainty that invites us to transform the love we have for our child into a force capable of carrying us beyond what we ever believed possible.
